I'm one
of the busiest people I know, and I'm aware that busy doesn't = productive. In
fact, busy people are often reactive. I've been thinking a lot lately about all
of the stuff that I do, and have been trying to understand the purpose behind
my pursuits. Here's what I found...
I first
looked at all of areas I spend time on, and narrowed it down to these buckets:
Work, school, family, friends, service, and self-care. When I look at these as
"things to do", it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.
I decided to dig deeper into my values to determine how well
they align with the way I actually spend my time. I discovered that everything
I do is aligned with my values, but I lack clarity on my highest priorities, so
often whatever feels most pressing
gets my attention. I also forget or purposefully ignore my needs so I can
invest in other areas. Case in point: I commute, then work, then commute, then
eat/play with the kids for 2 hours, then focus on school work until midnight,
then get up again at six and start again.
This is my typical Mon-Fri schedule, and sometimes I throw in a music
rehearsal, because I'm clearly overestimating my capacity.
So amid
this craziness, something has to give, and usually it's self-care (working out,
eating healthy, sleeping, etc). How do I expect to sustain all of this? Like a car running on fumes,
I'm running without fuel for the "doing".
So here's the strategy:
1. Choose the foundation- What is the
foundation for everything I do? For me it's my faith--my spiritual growth and
relationship with Christ is the foundation for the decisions I make. Time
invested here is essential to sustain everything else.
2. Build on the foundation- What one area
of focus would have the most significant impact on everything else? For me,
this is my relationship with my husband, Jason. Health in this relationship is
HUGELY important--it helps to grow my faith because we share that foundation
and we're making decisions together from the same place. This impacts our decisions on parenting,
finances, our educational and career goals--basically everything. We are
accountable to each other to make decisions that are in alignment with our
foundation.
3. Build further- My role as a mom comes
next, and that doesn't mean I love my kids less than my husband. It means that I understand that I'll be a
healthier mom to my kids if I model and live out a healthy relationship with
their Dad. When I show him respect,
respond to him in love, and build him up in their eyes, it teaches them how to
live and how to love others regardless of circumstance. It shows them a glimpse
of the love of Christ. That's my job as
their mom. Yes, there are a lot of other
things in my job description, but I need to hold to the foundation as a common
thread.
4. Fuel up- Okay, stop and notice that
this step comes before most of my "buckets". This is self-care, and this is a BIG change for me. This is actually fueling my body so that I
have the capacity to live out my values without compromising my foundation. This
is eating when I should, and what I should. This is allowing time to get the
sleep I need. This is a commitment to
regular exercise--how else will I keep up with my two toddlers? This is also
not rocket science. The key is linking it back my foundation and what I've
built upon it--this provides me a compelling reason to keep driving forward.
5. The Doing- This is where I spend the
rest of my time. The “doing” is more sustainable now
because I've increased my capacity through fueling up. As long my activities are aligned with my
foundation, and they don't compromise my focus on anything mentioned above,
I'm golden. How I invest in these buckets and the time I spend on them is
negotiable, not foundational. There's a
lot of freedom in that.
- Work
- School
- Extended Family - Parents & Siblings
- Friends
- Service (music, church activities, volunteering)
This is
front of mind for me, and I'm putting it out there for you. I welcome your
feedback, comments, and ask for accountability.
