Higher and Deeper

“You have called me higher, You have called me deeper, and I’ll go where you will lead me Lord”   ~All Sons & Daughters,  Called Me Higher

I’ve been captured by these lyrics over the past month, praying to embrace what they mean for my life.  Sometimes I sit around waiting for something to happen, waiting for God to show me the next opportunity.  Rather than passive waiting, I’ve recently been asking God, What does it mean to be called higher and deeper?

I’ve been focusing on honoring God in my response to the situations and the people that are in my life, and praying that my actions and influence will point people toward Him. I am also praying that I will rise above what is easy or familiar, and move into areas of my life that can only be reached by God’s grace and provision. I’m praying and spending time with God to gain a deeper knowledge of who He is, and to embrace a more authentic vulnerability with Him and with those around me. 

Although I don’t have certainty on what it means to be called higher and deeper, I am secure in His leading.

Be like Gumby...

Yet another theme that keeps popping up in my life: Adaptability.

My team and I are meeting together this week, and we've been talking about our response to change. Do we fight against it, or do we embrace it? Sometimes it doesn't feel that simple, especially when the change comes with a lot of "unknown". Our ability to move forward into the unknown takes faith, trust, and the ability to get out of our own head and heart, to see the bigger picture. 

It takes emotional maturity.

I was recently asked to share my thoughts on "Adaptability" in an upcoming meeting, so rather than wing it, I thought I'd do some real thinking on it. Here's what I came to:

I believe our ability to Adapt is evidence that we are thinking beyond ourselves 

When I think of the times I've adapted quickly or with the least resistance, I have been connected to the bigger picture. Whether or not I fully agreed with the change in its entirety, I understood the value. I understood that the end result was worthwhile.  

Some of us naturally see the bigger picture. There are also those of us who see what is directly in front of us first, and need to process that moment before we can "think forward". As a leader, I believe that I need to learn to speak the language of both types of people to effectively lead them to and through change.

I see Adaptability as yielding our comfort or familiarity, to embrace a new reality  

It's usually not about us. It may feel like it is, but take yourself out of the situation, and look at the change by itself for a minute. What value will come from it? How will it shape the environment moving forward? How will it shape the people moving forward? Is it worth a little discomfort for the potential it will bring?

If you can't answer those questions, dig deeper. Ask someone else. Find a way to reframe how you see the change so you can come to embrace it, warts and all.

I believe Adaptability is our ability to be changed

One of the trainers on my team said the best advice he'd ever been given was, "One day at a time". That is so simple and so true, especially when moving through change. If we are humble and teachable, we have the potential to be shaped in new ways we have never imagined.  Be changed through the change. Don't waste an ounce of the experience.  

One day at a time.

And we've arrived in AZ

I took a week off for vacation/moving from Oregon to Arizona, and we are finally (mostly) settled in our new home.  We have been so blessed by how every detail has come together in this move.  We are living in my parent's guest house, which was fully furnished and perfect for us and the little guys.  It's nice to have family so close, and amazing how it has worked out for me to continue to do the job I love from a different location.

God's design is really amazing...I'm continually blown away. 

A few details yet to be worked out include finding renters for our home in Hillsboro in the spring, and for Jason to get up and running on his Master's program.  Funny, I remember telling Jason a few years back that I could not see myself ever wanting to live in Arizona. :)  We'll here I am, even excited about living here, and by this new adventure.

WooHoo to whatever comes next!

Here's a pic that Jason took of the guest house we're staying in.

Missing Daddy

Wow, it's been a full weekend. Jason is visiting friends in Spokane, and it's been just me and the kiddos. I'm exhausted. Solo parenting is hecka-hard.  It was also a weekend when I tried to take the kids in for hair cuts, but Judah had a toddler meltdown and left the salon with his hair half done.  I also led worship today, and without Daddy, that's a bit challenging.  Thankfully one of our babysitters goes to our church and met me early to monitor the kids dancing during our sound check.  Full, crazy, and blessed weekend.

What was interesting was to see a change in Judah without Jason around.  The little man had such a hard time this weekend, and was pretty cranky. He's normally such an easygoing kid, but I could tell that something didn't feel "right" for him with Daddy gone, and he kept saying "Where's Dad?".  Although it made things harder for me, it was a sweet at the same time, realizing how bonded Judah and Jason are.  I am thankful for that bond.

Here are some pics of the kids at play today, on our final outing before Daddy flies home tomorrow.

Judah had so much fun today

Judah and this little girl walked around holding hands the whole time, then would go down the slide at the same time...they were SO cute!

Say "cheese"...She loves it!

This is her first time being able to climb up on the big play structure.  She had a blast!

We're moving!

Some of you already know, but we're getting ready to move to Wickenburg, Arizona the last week of July.  I know--horrible time of year to be moving to Arizona.

Why Arizona?
Well, Jason is about to graduate with his Bachelors in Social Work, and his next step is to pursue his Masters in Social Work at Arizona State University.  The very cool aspect of this move is that we will be near family since we're moving into my parent's guest house while we work on selling our place in Oregon. I am also able to keep doing my job with the bank while Jason pursues his degree --Huge blessing! I will continue working on my masters at the same time since my program is online.  Everything is coming together :)

The hard part is getting rid of our stuff.  We are doing the minimalist thing on this move, and we will only be taking our mini-van and whatever we can fit in a 5' x 8' U-haul trailer.  No crap allowed.  The guest house is furnished, so we won't really need most of our stuff.  At first I was worried about getting rid of so much, but it's really pretty liberating.

Jason gave me the count down today:  39 days until the move

We will miss our Oregon family and friends so much, but we are very excited about this new adventure!  Year around sun, here we come!

Inspired to think differently as a leader...

First off, I'm a huge Patrick Lencioni fan. I recently read The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else In Business, and this book reads differently than his typical writing, in that it's not written in fable format. Being a fan of his typical style, I still found this book very engaging, and extremely thought provoking. It actually builds upon concepts and principles in his other books, and includes so many great approaches for leaders.

When I read any of Lencioni's books, I become inspired to think differently. I begin to analyze my environment with a critical but solutions-focused mindset. I look at people and processes to understand what's working and why, but also to assess where the opportunity lies, even among the seemingly small things.

This book looks at the whole organization from a health perspective, and I think the challenge for us who hold middle-management leadership roles, is to take the concepts shared, and wrap our arms around what we can influence from where we sit. We often don't determine the values our company will embody, the details of the recognition program, or the strategic or tactical areas of focus from an organizational perspective. With that in mind, I have to think about what we do determine, and what we can influence.

I'm planning to dig into this further with my team, to see how we can leverage the following questions from the book, and what that means for our future success and health.

1. Why do we exist?
2. How do we behave?
3. What do we do?
4. How will we succeed?
5. What is most important, right now?
6. Who must do what?

If you are a leader (whether you manage a team or not), read this book. Seriously, it's worth your time.

In The Service of Others

In my work life, I support leaders who are aiming to be successful in their careers. They all take different approaches in pursuit of this success, but most often I see success come more quickly and last longer for those with a particular mindset: Serving others.

With this in mind, I've done a lot of reading and exploring around the concept of "Servant Leadership". To better understand why this approach and mindset can be so effective, I think its helpful to look at the principles that define a Servant Leader, and also think through reasons those principles can be difficult to embody, for me and many of the leaders I serve.

Really, it boils down to the fact that Servant Leaders think beyond themselves on a consistent basis, and are focused on how they can support the success of others. The decisions they make are filtered differently, and although they may provide personal benefit to the leader, those decisions are not self-serving. But here's the other thing--Servant Leaders are human, and they will serve themselves and their own interests from time to time. How they respond to those moments further defines their leadership legacy. Responding in humility is a key mindset and approach of a Servant Leader. Own it. You are going to screw up...it's a certainty. Own it, admit where you missed the boat, make it as right as you can, and move forward with a renewed focus on serving.

It can be hard for some leaders to change their mindset and approach to that of a servant. Here are some of the areas that have helped me in my growth as a Servant Leader, and some thoughts around how I've reframed my thinking:

Focus more on your teams' success than your personal success:
Focus on growing your team and find your success in their achievements. Growing your people and their results is a much better indication of your leadership, and positions you more strongly toward your career goals.

Hold your "title" loosely:
You may be the leader, but you must also be a member of the team. You must be vulnerable, approachable, and a collaborator with those you serve. Don't think of yourself as set apart from those your serve. Humble yourself, and learn from everyone.

Get over yourself and the credit you "deserve":
It's not about you. It's about your team, and the individuals you serve. Give them credit, whenever and wherever you can. Celebrate and call out their contributions.

Actively seek feedback and do something with it:
Ask your team for feedback regularly. If you open up the doors, and are truly teachable with a track record of receiving feedback graciously, your team will be honest with you. Thank them for helping you grow. Also, "own" the times you have not received feedback well. Remember, you will make mistakes--respond well to those mistakes.

Make the conversation about them, not you:
Start applying this filter--Everything you say should be for the purpose of adding value to the other person. This filter keeps us from trying to impress others, dropping hints at our accomplishments, coming up with a better story, etc. This is a hard one, and requires discipline. It is okay to share these things, but they need to add value to the person I'm serving. If my story is more about my agenda than adding value, I dig deeper into their story instead. (this is the hardest one for me)

This is just scratching the surface, but these are the things I continue to work on daily as a leader myself. I don't have it all figured out. There is always more to learn, and my team teaches me with every interaction. Here's to the continued journey!

1 class down, 11 to go!

I just finished the first class in my Master's program at University of Denver, and holy crap, it was hard. Graduate Writing and Research...a requirement for all Master's students.  It was apparent how much I had forgotten since my undergrad studies, and I really wrote more music than papers for my Bachelor's. This class was focused around writing a research proposal, something I had never done before.

All this to say, I am off to a great start. I just received an email from my professor, and I received the following fabulous grade...

That's it...I'll get over myself now :-)

Why I do what I do

I'm in Northern California this week for work, and while I enjoy business trips, the best part of my day was the time I spent with my husband and munchkins on FaceTime. Although I miss my family so much when I'm gone, I really love the work I do, and I started thinking more about that today as I was conducting interviews to hire a new team member. The question that I began thinking on is Why do I love the work I do?

Answer: It doesn't feel like work.

My entire job is focused on helping individuals and teams identify and reach their potential. My success comes from the growth of those that I serve. I'm able to be creative, innovative, and always growing in community.

It's pretty amazing really. I'm thankful for my job and the joy that it brings every day. I am even more thankful for a husband who supports me in pursuing my passions through my career!

Celebrating Jason (amazing hubby, daddy, and partner in life)

Jason is almost finished with his Bachelor’s in Social Work at PSU, and he’ll be graduating this year on Father’s Day. This is so exciting for us, but also a bummer that two of his five kids won’t be around that day. For that reason, we are celebrating Father’s Day today, and I’ll start by sharing a bit about the father Jason is…

When Jason and I were dating back in 2006, his kids were elementary and junior high ages, and he was going through quite a learning curve adjusting to the pre-teen years. He was also working through the challenges that come with being a non-custodial parent, and through those challenges, I was able to see Jason model the love of Christ for his kids, and for me. I grew to understand unconditional love in a way I hadn’t before. Jason’s love for his kids became one of the things I grew to admire most about him.

It’s been such an honor to have two more kids with Jason and see him be a Daddy again to our little munchkins. He teaches me every day, and challenges me to grow as a parent to our kids. He has such a good balance of gentleness and firmness, and his relationship with each of us points us toward Christ. 

Jason and Ben on New Year's Eve ...
Ben was only 9 years old when I married his Dad.  Alayna and MiKeila don't pose for pictures often, but I hope to get a few someday with their Dad.

Daddy and his little man

Daddy's little princess

I thank God everyday for the blessing that Jason is to our family. I am blessed beyond words.

Fuel for the "doing"

I'm one of the busiest people I know, and I'm aware that busy doesn't = productive. In fact, busy people are often reactive. I've been thinking a lot lately about all of the stuff that I do, and have been trying to understand the purpose behind my pursuits. Here's what I found...

I first looked at all of areas I spend time on, and narrowed it down to these buckets: Work, school, family, friends, service, and self-care. When I look at these as "things to do", it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

I decided to dig deeper into my values to determine how well they align with the way I actually spend my time. I discovered that everything I do is aligned with my values, but I lack clarity on my highest priorities, so often whatever feels most pressing gets my attention. I also forget or purposefully ignore my needs so I can invest in other areas. Case in point: I commute, then work, then commute, then eat/play with the kids for 2 hours, then focus on school work until midnight, then get up again at six and start again.  This is my typical Mon-Fri schedule, and sometimes I throw in a music rehearsal, because I'm clearly overestimating my capacity.

So amid this craziness, something has to give, and usually it's self-care (working out, eating healthy, sleeping, etc). How do I expect to sustain all of this? Like a car running on fumes, I'm running without fuel for the "doing".

So here's the strategy:

1. Choose the foundation- What is the foundation for everything I do? For me it's my faith--my spiritual growth and relationship with Christ is the foundation for the decisions I make. Time invested here is essential to sustain everything else.

2. Build on the foundation- What one area of focus would have the most significant impact on everything else? For me, this is my relationship with my husband, Jason. Health in this relationship is HUGELY important--it helps to grow my faith because we share that foundation and we're making decisions together from the same place.  This impacts our decisions on parenting, finances, our educational and career goals--basically everything. We are accountable to each other to make decisions that are in alignment with our foundation.

3. Build further- My role as a mom comes next, and that doesn't mean I love my kids less than my husband.  It means that I understand that I'll be a healthier mom to my kids if I model and live out a healthy relationship with their Dad.  When I show him respect, respond to him in love, and build him up in their eyes, it teaches them how to live and how to love others regardless of circumstance. It shows them a glimpse of the love of Christ.  That's my job as their mom.  Yes, there are a lot of other things in my job description, but I need to hold to the foundation as a common thread.

4. Fuel up- Okay, stop and notice that this step comes before most of my "buckets".  This is self-care, and this is a BIG change for me.  This is actually fueling my body so that I have the capacity to live out my values without compromising my foundation. This is eating when I should, and what I should. This is allowing time to get the sleep I need.  This is a commitment to regular exercise--how else will I keep up with my two toddlers? This is also not rocket science. The key is linking it back my foundation and what I've built upon it--this provides me a compelling reason to keep driving forward.

5. The Doing- This is where I spend the rest of my time.  The “doing” is more sustainable now because I've increased my capacity through fueling up.  As long my activities are aligned with my foundation, and they don't compromise my focus on anything mentioned above, I'm golden. How I invest in these buckets and the time I spend on them is negotiable, not foundational.  There's a lot of freedom in that.

• Work
• School
• Extended Family - Parents & Siblings
• Friends
• Service (music, church activities, volunteering)

This is front of mind for me, and I'm putting it out there for you. I welcome your feedback, comments, and ask for accountability. 

Thinking differently

Wow, it's been a long time since I updated this blog.  Life happened, and two toddlers later, I have been focusing on getting healthy and keeping up with my little munchkins, Judah & Meriella.  I started using a website called MyFitnessPal back in January 2011, and between that time and January 2012, I lost 38 pounds.  I used the website to track my caloric intake and my exercise, which works well for someone nerdy like me, because it helped me to look at my calories from a budget perspective.  The website and iPhone app also worked great for me because it has makes tracking my calories easy and has an online community to provide support throughout the journey.

So now it's May 2012, and I have maintained my weight-loss.  The frustrating part is that I have not made any progress since January.  I haven't gained --  I haven't lost.  I need to think differently about how I move forward, so I'm taking some tips from my brother, and making my goals public.  You can check out a post on his journey here.  

Bottom Line:  I have a goal to lose 25 more pounds by Dec 31, 2012.  It won't be easy...I am already managing the caloric intake and the healthy food choices fairly well.  What needs to change are my exercise habits.  Today, I am sporadic at best, even with a treadmill in my garage.  

I just have to remember how far I have come, and continue to press on.  I need all the accountability and support I can get, so thank you in advance for giving me a kick in the butt when I need it!

Remembering me 38 pounds heavier, in Dec 2010:

Being inspired by me 38 pounds lighter, today :-)