Missing Daddy

Wow, it's been a full weekend. Jason is visiting friends in Spokane, and it's been just me and the kiddos. I'm exhausted. Solo parenting is hecka-hard.  It was also a weekend when I tried to take the kids in for hair cuts, but Judah had a toddler meltdown and left the salon with his hair half done.  I also led worship today, and without Daddy, that's a bit challenging.  Thankfully one of our babysitters goes to our church and met me early to monitor the kids dancing during our sound check.  Full, crazy, and blessed weekend.

What was interesting was to see a change in Judah without Jason around.  The little man had such a hard time this weekend, and was pretty cranky. He's normally such an easygoing kid, but I could tell that something didn't feel "right" for him with Daddy gone, and he kept saying "Where's Dad?".  Although it made things harder for me, it was a sweet at the same time, realizing how bonded Judah and Jason are.  I am thankful for that bond.

Here are some pics of the kids at play today, on our final outing before Daddy flies home tomorrow.

Judah had so much fun today

Judah and this little girl walked around holding hands the whole time, then would go down the slide at the same time...they were SO cute!

Say "cheese"...She loves it!

This is her first time being able to climb up on the big play structure.  She had a blast!

We're moving!

Some of you already know, but we're getting ready to move to Wickenburg, Arizona the last week of July.  I know--horrible time of year to be moving to Arizona.

Why Arizona?
Well, Jason is about to graduate with his Bachelors in Social Work, and his next step is to pursue his Masters in Social Work at Arizona State University.  The very cool aspect of this move is that we will be near family since we're moving into my parent's guest house while we work on selling our place in Oregon. I am also able to keep doing my job with the bank while Jason pursues his degree --Huge blessing! I will continue working on my masters at the same time since my program is online.  Everything is coming together :)

The hard part is getting rid of our stuff.  We are doing the minimalist thing on this move, and we will only be taking our mini-van and whatever we can fit in a 5' x 8' U-haul trailer.  No crap allowed.  The guest house is furnished, so we won't really need most of our stuff.  At first I was worried about getting rid of so much, but it's really pretty liberating.

Jason gave me the count down today:  39 days until the move

We will miss our Oregon family and friends so much, but we are very excited about this new adventure!  Year around sun, here we come!

Inspired to think differently as a leader...

First off, I'm a huge Patrick Lencioni fan. I recently read The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else In Business, and this book reads differently than his typical writing, in that it's not written in fable format. Being a fan of his typical style, I still found this book very engaging, and extremely thought provoking. It actually builds upon concepts and principles in his other books, and includes so many great approaches for leaders.

When I read any of Lencioni's books, I become inspired to think differently. I begin to analyze my environment with a critical but solutions-focused mindset. I look at people and processes to understand what's working and why, but also to assess where the opportunity lies, even among the seemingly small things.

This book looks at the whole organization from a health perspective, and I think the challenge for us who hold middle-management leadership roles, is to take the concepts shared, and wrap our arms around what we can influence from where we sit. We often don't determine the values our company will embody, the details of the recognition program, or the strategic or tactical areas of focus from an organizational perspective. With that in mind, I have to think about what we do determine, and what we can influence.

I'm planning to dig into this further with my team, to see how we can leverage the following questions from the book, and what that means for our future success and health.

1. Why do we exist?
2. How do we behave?
3. What do we do?
4. How will we succeed?
5. What is most important, right now?
6. Who must do what?

If you are a leader (whether you manage a team or not), read this book. Seriously, it's worth your time.

In The Service of Others

In my work life, I support leaders who are aiming to be successful in their careers. They all take different approaches in pursuit of this success, but most often I see success come more quickly and last longer for those with a particular mindset: Serving others.

With this in mind, I've done a lot of reading and exploring around the concept of "Servant Leadership". To better understand why this approach and mindset can be so effective, I think its helpful to look at the principles that define a Servant Leader, and also think through reasons those principles can be difficult to embody, for me and many of the leaders I serve.

Really, it boils down to the fact that Servant Leaders think beyond themselves on a consistent basis, and are focused on how they can support the success of others. The decisions they make are filtered differently, and although they may provide personal benefit to the leader, those decisions are not self-serving. But here's the other thing--Servant Leaders are human, and they will serve themselves and their own interests from time to time. How they respond to those moments further defines their leadership legacy. Responding in humility is a key mindset and approach of a Servant Leader. Own it. You are going to screw up...it's a certainty. Own it, admit where you missed the boat, make it as right as you can, and move forward with a renewed focus on serving.

It can be hard for some leaders to change their mindset and approach to that of a servant. Here are some of the areas that have helped me in my growth as a Servant Leader, and some thoughts around how I've reframed my thinking:

Focus more on your teams' success than your personal success:
Focus on growing your team and find your success in their achievements. Growing your people and their results is a much better indication of your leadership, and positions you more strongly toward your career goals.

Hold your "title" loosely:
You may be the leader, but you must also be a member of the team. You must be vulnerable, approachable, and a collaborator with those you serve. Don't think of yourself as set apart from those your serve. Humble yourself, and learn from everyone.

Get over yourself and the credit you "deserve":
It's not about you. It's about your team, and the individuals you serve. Give them credit, whenever and wherever you can. Celebrate and call out their contributions.

Actively seek feedback and do something with it:
Ask your team for feedback regularly. If you open up the doors, and are truly teachable with a track record of receiving feedback graciously, your team will be honest with you. Thank them for helping you grow. Also, "own" the times you have not received feedback well. Remember, you will make mistakes--respond well to those mistakes.

Make the conversation about them, not you:
Start applying this filter--Everything you say should be for the purpose of adding value to the other person. This filter keeps us from trying to impress others, dropping hints at our accomplishments, coming up with a better story, etc. This is a hard one, and requires discipline. It is okay to share these things, but they need to add value to the person I'm serving. If my story is more about my agenda than adding value, I dig deeper into their story instead. (this is the hardest one for me)

This is just scratching the surface, but these are the things I continue to work on daily as a leader myself. I don't have it all figured out. There is always more to learn, and my team teaches me with every interaction. Here's to the continued journey!

1 class down, 11 to go!

I just finished the first class in my Master's program at University of Denver, and holy crap, it was hard. Graduate Writing and Research...a requirement for all Master's students.  It was apparent how much I had forgotten since my undergrad studies, and I really wrote more music than papers for my Bachelor's. This class was focused around writing a research proposal, something I had never done before.

All this to say, I am off to a great start. I just received an email from my professor, and I received the following fabulous grade...

That's it...I'll get over myself now :-)