Why I do what I do

I'm in Northern California this week for work, and while I enjoy business trips, the best part of my day was the time I spent with my husband and munchkins on FaceTime. Although I miss my family so much when I'm gone, I really love the work I do, and I started thinking more about that today as I was conducting interviews to hire a new team member. The question that I began thinking on is Why do I love the work I do?

Answer: It doesn't feel like work.

My entire job is focused on helping individuals and teams identify and reach their potential. My success comes from the growth of those that I serve. I'm able to be creative, innovative, and always growing in community.

It's pretty amazing really. I'm thankful for my job and the joy that it brings every day. I am even more thankful for a husband who supports me in pursuing my passions through my career!

Celebrating Jason (amazing hubby, daddy, and partner in life)

Jason is almost finished with his Bachelor’s in Social Work at PSU, and he’ll be graduating this year on Father’s Day. This is so exciting for us, but also a bummer that two of his five kids won’t be around that day. For that reason, we are celebrating Father’s Day today, and I’ll start by sharing a bit about the father Jason is…

When Jason and I were dating back in 2006, his kids were elementary and junior high ages, and he was going through quite a learning curve adjusting to the pre-teen years. He was also working through the challenges that come with being a non-custodial parent, and through those challenges, I was able to see Jason model the love of Christ for his kids, and for me. I grew to understand unconditional love in a way I hadn’t before. Jason’s love for his kids became one of the things I grew to admire most about him.

It’s been such an honor to have two more kids with Jason and see him be a Daddy again to our little munchkins. He teaches me every day, and challenges me to grow as a parent to our kids. He has such a good balance of gentleness and firmness, and his relationship with each of us points us toward Christ. 

Jason and Ben on New Year's Eve ...
Ben was only 9 years old when I married his Dad.  Alayna and MiKeila don't pose for pictures often, but I hope to get a few someday with their Dad.

Daddy and his little man

Daddy's little princess

I thank God everyday for the blessing that Jason is to our family. I am blessed beyond words.

Fuel for the "doing"

I'm one of the busiest people I know, and I'm aware that busy doesn't = productive. In fact, busy people are often reactive. I've been thinking a lot lately about all of the stuff that I do, and have been trying to understand the purpose behind my pursuits. Here's what I found...

I first looked at all of areas I spend time on, and narrowed it down to these buckets: Work, school, family, friends, service, and self-care. When I look at these as "things to do", it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

I decided to dig deeper into my values to determine how well they align with the way I actually spend my time. I discovered that everything I do is aligned with my values, but I lack clarity on my highest priorities, so often whatever feels most pressing gets my attention. I also forget or purposefully ignore my needs so I can invest in other areas. Case in point: I commute, then work, then commute, then eat/play with the kids for 2 hours, then focus on school work until midnight, then get up again at six and start again.  This is my typical Mon-Fri schedule, and sometimes I throw in a music rehearsal, because I'm clearly overestimating my capacity.

So amid this craziness, something has to give, and usually it's self-care (working out, eating healthy, sleeping, etc). How do I expect to sustain all of this? Like a car running on fumes, I'm running without fuel for the "doing".

So here's the strategy:

1. Choose the foundation- What is the foundation for everything I do? For me it's my faith--my spiritual growth and relationship with Christ is the foundation for the decisions I make. Time invested here is essential to sustain everything else.

2. Build on the foundation- What one area of focus would have the most significant impact on everything else? For me, this is my relationship with my husband, Jason. Health in this relationship is HUGELY important--it helps to grow my faith because we share that foundation and we're making decisions together from the same place.  This impacts our decisions on parenting, finances, our educational and career goals--basically everything. We are accountable to each other to make decisions that are in alignment with our foundation.

3. Build further- My role as a mom comes next, and that doesn't mean I love my kids less than my husband.  It means that I understand that I'll be a healthier mom to my kids if I model and live out a healthy relationship with their Dad.  When I show him respect, respond to him in love, and build him up in their eyes, it teaches them how to live and how to love others regardless of circumstance. It shows them a glimpse of the love of Christ.  That's my job as their mom.  Yes, there are a lot of other things in my job description, but I need to hold to the foundation as a common thread.

4. Fuel up- Okay, stop and notice that this step comes before most of my "buckets".  This is self-care, and this is a BIG change for me.  This is actually fueling my body so that I have the capacity to live out my values without compromising my foundation. This is eating when I should, and what I should. This is allowing time to get the sleep I need.  This is a commitment to regular exercise--how else will I keep up with my two toddlers? This is also not rocket science. The key is linking it back my foundation and what I've built upon it--this provides me a compelling reason to keep driving forward.

5. The Doing- This is where I spend the rest of my time.  The “doing” is more sustainable now because I've increased my capacity through fueling up.  As long my activities are aligned with my foundation, and they don't compromise my focus on anything mentioned above, I'm golden. How I invest in these buckets and the time I spend on them is negotiable, not foundational.  There's a lot of freedom in that.

• Work
• School
• Extended Family - Parents & Siblings
• Friends
• Service (music, church activities, volunteering)

This is front of mind for me, and I'm putting it out there for you. I welcome your feedback, comments, and ask for accountability. 

Thinking differently

Wow, it's been a long time since I updated this blog.  Life happened, and two toddlers later, I have been focusing on getting healthy and keeping up with my little munchkins, Judah & Meriella.  I started using a website called MyFitnessPal back in January 2011, and between that time and January 2012, I lost 38 pounds.  I used the website to track my caloric intake and my exercise, which works well for someone nerdy like me, because it helped me to look at my calories from a budget perspective.  The website and iPhone app also worked great for me because it has makes tracking my calories easy and has an online community to provide support throughout the journey.

So now it's May 2012, and I have maintained my weight-loss.  The frustrating part is that I have not made any progress since January.  I haven't gained --  I haven't lost.  I need to think differently about how I move forward, so I'm taking some tips from my brother, and making my goals public.  You can check out a post on his journey here.  

Bottom Line:  I have a goal to lose 25 more pounds by Dec 31, 2012.  It won't be easy...I am already managing the caloric intake and the healthy food choices fairly well.  What needs to change are my exercise habits.  Today, I am sporadic at best, even with a treadmill in my garage.  

I just have to remember how far I have come, and continue to press on.  I need all the accountability and support I can get, so thank you in advance for giving me a kick in the butt when I need it!

Remembering me 38 pounds heavier, in Dec 2010:

Being inspired by me 38 pounds lighter, today :-)